My Feelings For You
by verdekt
Summary: Written for a contest, based on the theme I Can't.  Riku tries to figure out what to do about how Sora feels for him.


If there was one thing everyone could positively say about Sora, it was that his emotions were always readily transparent. Especially to those who knew him well, it was the easiest thing in the world to see what he was thinking just by looking at his face. So it was no surprise that Riku knew that Sora loved him.

"He's about as subtle as a grand piano falling on my head," the silver haired boy muttered to himself as he stalked down the beach. He had just spent the entire school day catching the smaller boy staring at him and heaving little melancholy sighs. The memory of it made a similar sigh woosh in and out of Riku's own lungs. He was certain that everyone else knew. There was no way they couldn't notice. Moreover, he was pretty sure that since the two of them were obviously such good friends everyone expected the two of them to get together. This more than anything else was what lent anger to his strides.

It wasn't as if he didn't like Sora. He would never forget everything the brunette had gone through for his sake. When Sora was around, Riku felt free to be himself in a way he could around no one else. He would even go so far as to say that he loved his petite friend. Several times he had been on the verge of asking him out, coming within a breath of fulfilling everyone's expectations. Each time, though, something had held him back. It wasn't even something he could define. There was just a feeling that told him that this wasn't the right thing to do. He stuffed his hands further into his pockets as the now familiar frustration of being unable to name his own emotions washed over him. He was so caught up that he stopped paying attention to his surroundings. It wasn't until he was less than three meters away that he suddenly realized that Sora was sitting on the beach in front of him. He stopped suddenly, considering whether he could turn around and escape unnoticed.

Sora was sitting with his arms wrapped around his raised knees, facing the waves. As Riku was contemplating his getaway he paused, captured by the melancholy look on his friend's face as he stared out over the water. He paused too long, and all at once Sora noticed that he was not alone. He turned his head, and when he saw Riku a delighted smile lit up his face.

"Riku!" He said, scrambling to his feet. He went over and gave his taller friend a hug. Riku noticed that he held on a little longer than he needed to, and that when he stepped back he kept the distance between them small. "I was just thinking about you!"

"I could tell." Riku said

"Huh?" Sora blushed, looking puzzled and embarrassed at the same time. Riku sighed.

"Look, Sora," he said, sitting in the sand, "I-"

"I have something to tell you," Sora interrupted, resuming his former position next to his friend.

"Sora-"

"No, please let me," Sora said, glancing at Riku and away again. "Riku I… I… love you."

Riku sighed. "I know," he said.

"What?" Sora said, blushing.

"I know," Riku repeated. "I know you better than anyone. Did you really think I wouldn't notice?"

"Oh," Sora said in a tiny voice.

"Yeah." Riku refrained from mentioning that he was probably only one of the many people who was aware of Sora's feelings. He didn't think it was something that really needed to be said at this point. Maybe he would tell him later, but not when his friend was obviously having such a hard time anyways.

"So… do you…?" Sora seemed unable to complete his question. The look he was giving Riku was so vulnerable and scared that Riku was halfway through the motion of reaching for his friend before he suddenly realized that this night not be the best idea under the circumstances. He paused and started to withdraw, but the stricken look in Sora's eyes made him feel like a monster, and after another moment's hesitation he completed the motion and drew the brunette into a hug. As Sora clung to him desperately he tried to gather his thoughts.

"Of course I love you," he said, "but… I just don't think I love you like that. I don't know what it is, but even though I love you it just feels like there's something… missing," He trailed off, and for a while neither of them tried to break the silence. They continued to sit there in the sand with their arms wrapped around each other. After a while Sora sighed and snuggled closer.

"Stop that," Riku said absently.

"Sorry!" Sora said, trying to pull away. "I just…"

"It's ok," Riku said, "Only, when you do that it's hard for my brain to keep fighting my hormones."

"Are you winning?" Sora joked.

"I don't know," Riku answered seriously, looking down at him. "I can't tell what winning means at this point."

"I hate you," Sora whispered.

"Huh?" Riku's eyes registered his confusion.

"I said I hate you," Sora said, just before he leaned in and touched his lips to those of his silver haired love.

Riku knew that he shouldn't let Sora do this. He knew that in the long run this would just make things harder. But as he felt the hesitant touch on his lips he couldn't help himself. Gently, he kissed Sora back. It seemed like forever as the two of them exchanged kiss after little kiss. Slowly the kisses became deeper, and hands began to move to clutch their bodies more closely together as they sunk back into the sand.

When they finally came gradually to a halt, Riku was lying in the sand with Sora lying across his chest. He held one arm around his back as the other one gently stroked his hair. Sora's arms were both around his neck as he leaned his head against the other's shoulder. With a sigh, Riku lifted Sora's face so he could look into his eyes.

"I can't help it, you know. I can't change how I feel. I wish I could but…"

"I know," Sora whispered, moving his head so it was once again buried in silver hair. Riku could barely hear him as he added "Neither can I." Riku felt a tear slip down his neck.

"Don't worry," he said, moving once again to stroke brown hair. "We've gotten through though times before. We'll figure this out."

He wasn't sure how long it would take, and he knew it was going to be painful for both of them, but he knew that somehow they would get through this. Even if what they felt for each other was slightly different, they did both love each other. Nothing was going to ruin that, not ever.


End file.
